Showing posts with label Anastasia Steele. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anastasia Steele. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Sex, Gender, and Everything else in between

Since March is International Women's Month, let's talk about gender -- not just the female gender, but all genders.

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...which is why you need to resort to name-
calling -- to protect the world from those who
are "masahol pa sa hayop." (From a post in
Facebook)
The past month saw a phenomenal clash between religious beliefs and the slow but broadening acceptance of the third gender -- the LGBT group -- no thanks to a self-appointed bastion of righteousness and senator-wannabe who is better seen (and heard) inside the boxing ring than out of it.

As with many of my shoutouts in Facebook in the light of that "masahol pa sa hayop" gaffe, I remain steadfast in my belief that religious bigotry has no place in modern society. To accept a gender group's existence but to curtail their right to happiness in relationships is still bigotry in every sense of the word. We cannot sit in our high thrones of morality and throw stones at those who we deem are "sinful in God's eyes," for we are not God, much less, yardsticks of morality. No amount of knowledge in biblical verses can hide the fact that some of us are blind to our own prejudices, or simply refuse to understand the struggles and aspirations of those with a set of beliefs different from ours.

After all, it's much easier to say, "Ah, basta!" than to allow the mind to expand its understanding of the world and the beings sharing it with us. Ah basta, babae at lalaki lang ang alam ko. Ah basta, walang bakla sa mga hayop. Ah basta, hindi pwedeng magsama bilang magkatipan ang dalawang babae or dalawang lalaki. Ah basta...

Ah basta...all of these are merely Man's rules. Have we truly considered if these are also God's rules? Truth be said, we have nary a clue as to the extent of God's acceptance and love for everything He has created. Only we mere mortals are shrewd enough to mold our view of the world according to our puny understanding -- then decorate these with divine undertones to make them sound all big and holy like God's word.

Tsk. The Pharisees are still very much alive up to this day, so it seems. Pharisees -- concocting religious shit to keep "unholy ideas" in check since many centuries B.C.

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The past few years have also seen an even more heightened awareness of gender bias and how to eliminate or at least, mitigate it from all sectors of life.

There are still those who do not recognize gender bias, though -- not because they do not want to but because they are not aware of what it is. Some are even unaware that they are guilty of causing gender bias.

Before the problem is tackled, first, there has to be a definition of terms.

The primary question to be asked here is this: what is the difference between sex and gender?

ReachOut.com provides a good definition of sex as being "generally assigned to a person at birth, usually based on external and internal reproductive organs (whether you have a penis or vagina), hormones, and the genetic makeup (known as sex chromosomes) inherited from your parents."

Technically, sex is the physiological makeup you get to have as a default.

Every color, every hue...is represented by me and you. (From
Gender, meanwhile, presents distinctions that go beyond the physical orientation. It presents whole new dimensions to the bland male/female molds by integrating the mental, emotional, psychological, and even spiritual and cultural aspects of a person's identity. By doing so, a person can now choose to be male, female, both, or neither. So if you're still quite clueless as to why the LGBT pride flags come in the colors of the rainbow, this is why.

Now, if you feel that choosing one's orientation is tantamount to inviting God's wrath, then stop reading this, go back to the Middle Ages, and thump your Bible.

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Now, about women empowerment.

I'm your boss. Fear me. (From The Richmond Standard)
Recently, results on a study conducted by the International Labor Organization (ILO) became a hot topic in many news outlets. It talked about the Philippines ranking fourth among countries in terms of women holding middle- to senior-management positions in private firms over the last two decades.

This could be seen as a victory in the fight for gender equality in the Philippines -- but alas, this victory is watered down in the details. It turns out that while there are more women holding high positions in private companies, majority of these private firms are microenterprises. In other words, rumaraket lang si misis/ate/Ma'am, probably to augment a family income that -- if relied entirely on the man of the house -- will not be enough to keep said family comfortably afloat.

And so, it is not really a fight for gender equality being conquered here but a fight against poverty.

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Up to now, we have yet to truly recognize the value of women in the Filipino family. Traditional views dictate that she is supposed to be the "ilaw ng tahanan," but do not specify exactly how she provides the said "ilaw."

This, however, is the reality in many Filipino households, especially those in the boondocks: women are supposed to be all of these and more -- wife, homemaker, baby generator, cook, laundry person, nanny, free whore, janitor, and now, family income augmentor. All these while many men come home, sit on their rears, and complain how their life in the workplace sucks while sipping beer in front of the television.

We are still a long way from seeing women making a choice for their health's sake in family planning, especially with legislators literally shooting the bill on reproductive health down.

Wiith that in mind, all I can say is this: where religious fanaticism and misconception ends, a genuine move toward reproductive health begins.

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Earlier today, I found this post in my Facebook account about the move toward gender equality becoming tired already. "Women are not supposed to do what the men can do. Women are created to do what the men CANNOT do." Or something like that.

I dunno whether that post was in honor of my femininity or an implicit effort to put me and my fellow womenfolk into place. Funny how that post came out a day after International Women's Day.

Primarily, the only thing women can do that men cannot do is to give birth.

So...does that mean that we should just stick to making babies instead of showing the world what awesomeness we women can come up with?

Or am I just reading between the lines too much?

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Just noticing how many intelligent women I know are either separated from their husbands or are standing firm on their desire to not get married.

You see that's the problem with the female gender. You start thinking big things and making decisions on your own -- then suddenly the men around you scuttle away like frightened rats.

What is it about thinking women that men are so afraid of? I wonder...

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Wokey, before the menfolk admonish me for trash-talking them, allow me to redeem myself with this.

Women empowerment does not only involve women. In fact, this concept cannot become tangible if not for the men who contribute to the cause by acknowledging women's strengths and weaknesses and sharing the load.

That is why I am brought to tears when I see grown men playing Mommy to their children. And when I say playing Mommy, I mean helping out with the household chores, tending to the kids, expertly changing diapers, cooking for the family...and not just sitting on their respective bums after a day at work.

After all, in today's world, it's no longer the father's sole duty to provide the family's upkeep. The mother has already filled that economic gap to make ends meet. So if they can share duties in that aspect, why not in duties at home?

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E.L. James, author of 50 Shdes of Grey. (from 

Men in women empowerment are also aware of the fact that a woman's vagina is not their property but hers and hers alone.

So when a woman says no, she means it. It doesn't matter what the heck she is (or isn't) wearing.

And Anastasia Steele of 50 Shades of Grey fame, it doesn't matter if he is rich and drop-dead gorgeous. The freaking guy is raping you, and you are taking so much pleasure from it?! Seriously, E.L. James...

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And with that, I would like to give my love to all the strong women of the world on this International Month of Women.

To those not yet strong enough...well, remember that only you can change the tide -- not your man, not the people around you, not the Church or any other religious institution around. At the end of the day, it will all boil down to you.

Make that change.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Fifty Shades of Madness in the Philippines

The book. (Photo from TheGuardian.com)
Note: This writer has not yet seen the movie, but has read the book. All the books of the series, for that matter. Thus, allow me to emphasize that this is not a review of the movie. It's something much more.

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As of this very moment, the movie adaptation of the outrageously popular book, Fifty Shades of Grey, is raking in the big bucks on local shores in this season of hearts and motel bookings.

Some will say that they are watching/have watched the movie out of curiosity, especially with the PR blitz surrounding both the books and their cinematic counterparts.

Others will note that they're just jumping on the immense Fifty Shades bandwagon. After all, it is the "in" movie of the season.

Still others (the male population primarily) will complain that they were just dragged to the movie theater by their respective significant others or barkada (group of buddies) who are rabid Fifty Shades fans.

Then there are those who take the more pa-intellectual route and note that their interest in the movie is merely to create a comparative analysis of the presentation and discourse of sexual domination in cinema vis-a-vis the literary counterparts.

Enraptured. (Photo from DailyMail.co.ok)
C'mon, peeps. Why do we REALLY want to watch Fifty Shades?

Because of the sex scenes, of course!

Those who already watched the movie which debuted in Philippine cinemas (except for the SM movie theaters) last February 11 will probably give you mixed feedback regarding their experiences in watching the movie. The biggest letdown, of course, came in the form of those black blobs that conspicuously showed up on the main characters' private parts during steamy scenes. Quite frustrating, considering that the movie was already given an R-18 rating. Seriously, people 18 years old and up have already seen what has been covered in the movie, at least, in front of a mirror. That's why I don't get the black blobs despite the R-18 rating.

Unfortunately, it was the film's producer, Columbia Pictures, who inserted the blurs and blobs in the hope that a lower rating can be generated from the local movie review board --- an R-16 at least. A rating lower than R-18 means that the film can be allowed to run in SM Mall-owned movie houses. SM Malls, incidentally, have the most number of movie theaters scattered across the country. Despite all efforts, the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) still went for an R-18 rating despite the blurs and blobs, and the film's chances of being run in any SM Mall went kaput.

However, apparently the SM Mall non-showing is no longer an issue. All the other cinemas are now showing Fifty Shades, and they're benefiting big time from it. (Hahaha, this time, you've been PWND, SM.)

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The story itself is not exactly unique. Quite frankly, I read Mills and Boons books with better plots. My friend, Mignonette, gave me among the best critiques I ever heard about the book: some books, when you finish, you'd love to read again. Fifty Shades isn't one of those books - unless you already bookmarked the sex scenes for those lonely nights when you only have your own hands for company.

Author of the Fifty Shades trilogy, EL James. (Photo from 
You do have to hand it to Fifty Shades author, EL James, for boldly using the taboo concept of S&M (sadomasochism) and integrating it into a typical obnoxiously-rich-and-hot-guy-falls-for-mousy-girl-next-door story. The uncanny mix, despite the corny lines and the apparent lack of research into the real world of BDSM (Those with that kind of fetish are up in arms over EL James' depiction of the deed), turned into an instant hit among women across the world who have never in their dreams thought of reading porn in public until now.

Hollywood just couldn't resist the pull of a potential money earner in Fifty Shades. And they were right. The same women who engaged in reading this so-called "mommy porn" are now falling in line at the theaters, and those too lazy to read now have the chance to find out what the buzz was all about.

Never mind how the actors in the movie were apparently panting and sighing their lines all throughout the movie (I'm just basing this statement on the trailers). They could've casted Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey to play Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele respectively, but the droves of fans would still come to watch the movie.

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Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson as Christian Grey and
Anastasia Steele respectively. (Photo from MarieClaire.co.uk)
In the office, on the streets, online...the common question one would hear is, "Kailan tayo manonood ng Fifty Shades (When are we watching Fifty Shades)?" Even my girl gang from elementary days is marking this on their calendars and setting the sked for our Fifty Shades movie date.

If ever our movie date does push through (As of last FB private messaging, chances of our movie date turning into a dinner date are getting higher, haha), I'm just going to watch it to see how much of the film stayed true to the book, and how the steamy scenes will be executed without going too hardcore. (Erotica-induced imagination can be quite graphic, you know.)

Last I heard from the reviews, the movie ditched the annoying "inner goddess" schtick of Anastasia, thank God! I know that was supposed to be Ana's ego given a place of importance in the book but for goodness' sake, it was utterly annoying!

I'm also wondering if the scene where Christian still has sex with Ana despite her having her period makes it to the movie. That part must be one of the messiest love scenes if ever it did make the cut.

And yes, once again, those blobs of blur.

Well, blobs of blur or not, these apparently aren't stopping the Filipino Fifty Shades fans from trooping to the non-SM movie theaters to have their fill of Christian Grey and Ana Steele in various degrees of undress and positioning.

Yes, Mr. Grey, we will see you now.