Much Ado about a Door Knob

It was around 8 last Thursday night when I requested my daughter to buy a can of tuna in vegetable oil from across the street since I wasn't feeling too well to go out. She didn't take long. I then remembered that our steamed rice supply was already low and might not be enough for everyone, including our pet cats. Thus, I requested her to go out again to buy steamed rice.

I was upstairs when I heard my mom and my daughter getting anxious. When I went down to check them out, I saw my daughter apparently at war with our main door's knob. No matter how much or how often she turned the knob, the door just wouldn't open.

I took over the door knob turning to find out what the problem was. Upon closer inspection, it was revealed that the locking mechanism which bolts the door was no longer moving in sync with the turning of the knob. No amount of door knob turning was making the locking mechanism budge. I attempted to reach the "tongue" of the locking mechanism - that component which inserts itself into the adjacent hole on the side of the wall - with a butter knife in the hope of prying it back into the main body of the door knob, but the knife could barely make it through the very narrow space between the door side and the wall.

So after around 15 minutes of frustrating myself with my thousand-and-one attempts at trying to open our door to no avail, it finally dawned on me that my whole family and I were locked in our own home with only the second-floor window as our means of "escape."

Since I can't go out, I figured that someone from outside may be able to help us with our predicament. Thus, I called Cyrus, my former office mate who lives relatively nearby, for help. When he arrived, the first hurdle was to enter our gate which my daughter clamped shut with our combination padlock. We were already masters at just feeling through the small bumps of that padlock even in the dark so we had no trouble opening it. However, for a combination lock newbie like Cyrus, it took a while for him to get it right - but he did get it right and managed to open the gate.

The next hurdle was the door itself. I was thinking that if someone from outside turned the door handle, the door would just open smoothly. But noooo - it still didn't budge.

Next, I gave Cyrus the key to our main door in the hope that in turning the key, something may just click and the door will open. Nope, still no success.

Cyrus was getting just as desperate as I was, so he tried something a little more physical - he kicked on the door knob. Nope. Still nada.

Knowing that all our efforts were going to waste, Cyrus then left momentarily, first, to look for a locksmith. However, it was already around 10 PM and the locksmith at the corner has already left for home. He did the next best thing - to call the local barangay tanods (community security officers) for help. They did come to assess the issue. However, since it was already very late and very dark, we all decided to just let things be until morning the next day.

One of the tanods did return by morning, this time, with a ladder, a screwdriver, and a hammer. He had to climb the ladder to enter our house via our second floor patio, then he gave our door knob the death blow with several jabs of his screwdriver and some pummeling with his hammer.

Manong Barangay Tanod just took off the handle and was unscrewing
some screws. (Photo from personal archive)

By the time he was done with his task, this is what remained of our door. Thank God, we still have some remaining bolts left to fasten it shut from the inside.

Our knobless door. (Photo from personal archive)

And this was the culprit of all our troubles.

How could such a contraption be such a bother? (Photo from personal
archive)

I remember some wise sage saying that everything happens for a reason, I guess that apart from pissing me off with that door knob fiasco, that incident led me to reflect on some realizations about life:

• No matter how sturdy some things look, they can turn out to be big duds in the end.
• It could've turned out worse. The daughter could've been locked out, especially since she was the last one to use the main door. We may have been locked in but at least, everyone was already inside when it happened. We could've also been locked in without any supplies. The steamed rice supply which the daughter was supposed to replenish turned out to be enough for everyone including the cats, after all.
• I don't rue the fact that there's no male in our house. I still have male friends and neighbors who can help me out with the more brawny stuff at home.
• Thank God for good friends. (Yo, Cyrus!)
• Security should be of prime importance in every home.
• When a builder cuts corners in the construction of anything, sooner or later (probably sooner), the repercussions of this false economy will make themselves felt - like locking people in.

Several days ago, I bought a replacement door knob, this time, with the locking thingie that you turn instead of the push-button type. The sales lady said that this one has lesser chances of committing the problem we encountered with the push button one. She gave me this explanation about a spring letting go and stuff, but anyway, this basically summarizes what she recommended, especially for a main door:

(From HappyHerald.com and Buzzle.com)

The new door knob has just been installed yesterday, virtually ending our domestic drama featuring our main door. It's much easier to sleep at night now, content with the thought that no outsider could just trespass with a crowbar and industrial-strength wire cutters.

To my paranoid self, once again, you have been shushed.

That "Smart" Factor

Man, I suck in relationships.

No wait, before I get misconstrued for my earlier statement, allow me to explain myself.

I suck, meaning, I can't seem to hold on to a relationship that long. Either that, or I am so dense that I don't realize that -- to borrow a line from Disney's Beauty and the Beast -- there's something there that wasn't there before.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not frigid. I am a sucker for sweet nothings and lazy meandering evening walks,

But hey, I'm not exactly advertising myself either.

Lord knows I tried to make my past relationships work. Heck, I even married and had a child with one of them. Unfortunately, one thing or another just gets in the way of our relationship, and I end up breaking up with my past loves.

Well, except for the very first one. He was the one who broke up with me. For the record.

However, I believe that I'm now zooming in on what's the real culprit for my suckiness in relationships, thanks to a childhood friend of mine.

THE BACKGROUND

He's around two to three years younger than me. We both grew up in a tenement-style apartment building in the City of Manila. His family lived on the first floor, while we lived on the second floor.

We used to play house and other children's games with the rest of the kids on our block. Every single time, he would always be on my side of the team matchups.

Sometimes, my cousins who are just around my age would come over to visit and play with me. I would offer to tag him along in our games but every time, he would decline. Turns out, he was jealous of my cousins and felt left out.

We eventually grew up and grew away from each other -- he to pursue his degree in Mechanical Engineering and me to make good my career in mass media.

Both of us also eventually moved away from that apartment where we grew up.

He ended up getting married and settling in Canada.

I ended up separated with an octogenarian mother and a teenage daughter.

RECONNECTING

After leaving `our apartment in Manila, I immediately headed for my mom's province in Leyte to build a new life there.

I also broke off ties I had with everyone I knew in Manila.

And I lost track of my dear playmate.

Several more years later, I decided to return to the city I left to work again.

In the first few weeks since my arrival in Manila, I decided to visit my old neighborhood.

The apartment was still there, but none of my childhood friends were.

After a short reunion with another playmate of ours, we decided to reconnect with the rest of our childhood gang via Facebook.

That time, I wasn't much of a Facebook user so I wasn't able to really search for our friends.

It was he who found me on Facebook. He was so excited to have found me that he even had to call me.

Once again, we found each other.

THEN ONE DAY...

Every now and then, we'd chat like there was no tomorrow, bridging the distance and reconnecting the gap between us. Sometimes, he'd share his problems with me, and I was always the big sister to him, always ready to offer advice and a listening ear.

One time, he asked we what could have happened if we ended up married to each other instead. I dismissed the thought as I still saw him as the little boy in red shorts who would sometimes pee along the gutters, the little boy who I cheered for during neighborhood junior basketball leagues, the little boy who insisted being my teammate during street football games.

Then about two weeks ago, he PMed me.

His wife was attending a wedding in another state. He was all alone at home (they don't have kids), and he saw me online on Facebook,

He found the most opportune time to finally drop the bomb -- that he wanted us to be "friends and lovers."

Then it was just one bomb after another. He admitted that he had a long-standing crush on me as early as our elementary days. He said he fell deeper when we got to high school, but by that time, he became gun-shy. He still never said anything and suffered in silence as he saw boy after boy passing by their apartment unit on their way to visit/court me. He eventually met other girls and redirected his feelings toward them until he met his present-day wife.

My fingers were frozen in mid-press.

When my brain managed to process his revelations, I asked -- no, screamed at him (in all caps) as to why he told me all of this just now.

His answer was like an epiphany.

I intimidated him. He said he found me too smart for a mere mortal like him.

WHAAAAAATTTT?! *facepalm*

THE PRICE I PAY

So all this time, my childhood friend had a thing for me, and I scared him away because -- I'm too smart for him?

Actually, I also heard this from another old flame. According to him, he got emasculated by my "being too smart."

So I guess it's true what recent studies say about intelligent women usually ending up single.

Holy crap.

So going back to my bomb-dropping childhood friend. I did ask him, "What now?"

Oh, the man has plans. He wants to come home to the Philippines just to see me, and just for that moment, forget reality existed.

Holy crap.

However, he may only get the chance to do so around two years from now.

Great. He flirts like the devil with me, then tells me he couldn't come home yet?

Holy crap.

I knocked him on the head (virtually, of course), and told him that if he didn't get too insecure about my brain, I probably would have been the woman with him in Canada right now. And with kids.

He broke down in tears. Or at least that was the reason he gave for the pregnant pause after I sent that particular line in our chat.

So now what I'm seeing before me is a long, sad line of lost chances. His revelation is the latest addition to the line.

All because I was too smart.

And this is the reason behind most, if not all of, my failed relationships.

Holy crap.